My rant about Cameron Diaz

You know that girl who grew up so pretty that she never had to worry about developing that part of her brain where "charm" and "intellect" reside? Yeah, well, once her face starts doing that haggard I've-weighed-so-much-less-than-what-a-healthy-body-weight-for-my-height-is, you really start to notice that she talks way too much about bodily functions in order to try and convince people that despite her "amazing beauty" she's really so very emotionally accessible and interesting.

God, I sound like Jeanine Garofalo sometimes. But I'm not that bitter. I swear. I mean, c'mon, I have highlights. Would a bitter woman have highlights? I didn't think so. Bitches.